What ever happened to the blossoming glow of pregnancy?  I’ve been looking forward to experiencing all those happy clucky feelings I never experienced the first time around (too busy being an angst teenager) but so far the only parts of me which are blossoming are my boobs and my belly!

I figured I’d defeat morning sickness and tiredness with a positive attitude.  Yup.  The good old mind-over-matter.  Somehow I had completely forgotten that I am a really negative person.  Heh… Kinda threw me out there when I was trying to summon a bit of positivity. Pfft.

And talking myself out of the good old 1st trimester tiredness? Right!  I wake each day feeling like Sisyphus.  Groaning at the eternal task of pushing shit uphill.  Clawing through each day on my hands and knees. Planning little nesting corners where I can sleep through my lunch breaks, and near-crying with the sheer frustration of making every blunder imaginable on the til as I battle to keep my eyes open and my mind and body connected.  Struggling not to throw up all over each approaching customer…

Wait, I’m describing every working day here.  Perhaps with a tad more in the way of tiredness.

I was twice checked over by co-workers for a ‘baby belly’ yesterday.  Donna kept glancing at my stomach with a grin, and as icing to the cake, Mike (who, in a DOOL moment, has returned from the dead) asked if I’d named the “baby-bump” yet.

“Eh? Oh no, this isn’t a baby-bump.  It’s just my belly.”

He spent a moment apologising and trying to backtrack, but it was all good. I’ve been carting around that lil’ pot-belly for my entire life, and I guess no one’s really been that conscious of it before until now.

Though, it does make me think: Maybe I have developed a baby-bump already? After all, I saw a regular customer in the supermarket tonight and as we stopped to chat she was sneaking glances at the belly too.  (Should I be calling it The Belly?) J later agreed my ‘natural pot’ seems to have well, altered shape somewhat.

Good gods, I’m only closing in on eight weeks! Kill me now…

No, I think it’s just that I’ve dumped cravings for fresh fruit salad & spirilina smoothies in favour of chocolate-self saucing pudding and peanut slabs (they’re not really cravings, that’s just my excuse.)

On a plus side, I don’t think my boobs have been this big in a long, long time.