I.  Am.  Sore.  Today was the shop’s stock change, and if I thought packing up the hall after our monthly sale was becoming a challenge, the humble fortnightly stock change may well be the straw which will break this camel’s back.

Every last inch of me feels as if it’s been through the tumble dryer twice over.  Imagine mowing your lawns, going on a long hike through the length and breadth of the Waitakere Ranges then coming home to mow the lawns again.  By lunch time.  Now you have an inkling of my pain.

Oh blah blah woof woof, I know what a whinge bag I am, but I’m not exaggerating! I am a pregnant hippo in pain!  I came home from work today and blubbered on to the family about how I can’t bear another day of this.  (Tears and all!)  My pelvis feels as if it is splitting, if ripping out my spine could stop my back from aching I’d fillet myself now, my sciatic nerve almost stops me in my tracks every time I take a step, my legs are stiff from the muscle cramps that I wake to each night…

… But every time I walk past my boss I tell myself to suck it up and stop waddling like a penguin, least I give her the satisfaction of saying “I told you so”.  (Anything but that!)

And then there’s the rapid pulse and heart palpatations that kick in for no apparent reason and make me feel as if I’m spacing out, the shortness of breath that likes to strike when I’m trying to sleep, the heartburn, the… did I mention leg cramps?

Urgh, I really want to enjoy this pregnancy, and for the most part, I am. Really, I am.  Most days, I can handle the aches and pains, knowing it’s all ‘pain with a purpose’ and the baby’s ‘reality kick’ to the ribs reminds me of the aspects of this pregnancy that I enjoy.

But some days (like today), it just hurts so much.  And I can only grin and bear it for so long before I realise the grin is actually a grimace and the continual aches and pains are for the moment, not so bearable after all.  Especially when I grizzle to J and he says “oh dear” in his best sympathetic voice, but in reality has absolutely no idea. He tries to get it, but I don’t think he can really grasp just how exhausted I feel when I say “I can’t endure this anymore”, knowing that I must.  Sometimes the realisation of this almost defeats me.

But there are some fantastic aspects to being pregnant. Like, the weird alien feeling of having the shit kicked out of you from the inside.  :P  Nothing like a good swift boot to the bowels to remind you you’re not alone!